Eleven Months.

It's hard to believe that it's been eleven months. Three hundred and thirty five days. Eight thousand thirty six hours. Time has stood still. Time has marched on. Time has flown by. It seems unreal that my son should be eleven months old. He should be here in Cleveland with us this weekend for his uncle … Continue reading Eleven Months.

June 4.

I have a love-hate relationship with Facebook these days. Actually, if I'm being honest, I've become pretty ambivalent about social media on the whole, mostly due to the fact that I have very little control when scrolling through social media over when I will or will not see something that triggers my grief. So, the … Continue reading June 4.

Mother’s Day: A Letter to My Son.

Alexander, my sweet boy: You, my son, are the one. From the moment I saw those two lines on the pregnancy test, I couldn't wait to meet you. You were so wanted. You were prayed for. You made me a mother. You changed me and you changed my world. I love the memories I have … Continue reading Mother’s Day: A Letter to My Son.

Ten Months.

I'm taking it slow this morning. I slept in until about 9, went downstairs and grabbed a cup of coffee and my laptop, and came back upstairs to the nursery to spend some time remembering Alexander and writing. Ten months. It feels like it's getting harder and harder to imagine what our life should be like. As … Continue reading Ten Months.

International Bereaved Mother’s Day.

There are some things in this life that I really wish I never had to learn: ...that 1 in 160 pregnancies result in stillbirth (23,600 each year in the United States). ...that organizations like Molly Bears exist to help provide comfort to grieving parents. ...what it is like to leave the maternity ward empty handed. ...the pain … Continue reading International Bereaved Mother’s Day.

Nine Months.

I often wonder what it would be like. What would our lives be like if Alexander were here? What would it be like if instead of grieving the loss of our first and only son and navigating a world full of secondary losses, we were learning more each day about parenting a nine-month-old little boy? Oh, … Continue reading Nine Months.

Eight Months.

I don't think it's a surprise to people that the past week has been difficult. I have heard over and over again that grief comes in waves. Well, if that is the case, then the past week has felt like having my head plunged back below the surface. Milestones are hard. Today, my head is feeling … Continue reading Eight Months.