It's been two months since the last time I wrote. My thirty third birthday, Thanksgiving, and the start of the holiday season--our second without Alexander--have all made their appearances. December is here again. The ninth of the month is here again. Seventeen months. I remember a friend saying to me soon after losing Alexander that … Continue reading Seventeen Months.
I have thought about him since the moment I woke up this morning. October 9. Fifteen months since we held him. One year since we held his memorial service. Today is Alexander's day. Oh, that sweet boy. A dear friend reminded me tonight of something I said at some point this year: "I thought I … Continue reading Fifteen Months.
The weather is breaking in southwest Ohio. Leaves are starting to turn and there is a crispness to the air. Flannel shirts, pumpkin spice everything, and pumpkins and gourds are everywhere. Despite the fact that last Sunday, we spent the third official day of autumn sitting poolside and sunning ourselves, and as I cling tightly to … Continue reading October, Fall, and PAIL Awareness
Tomorrow morning if you wake up, And the sun does not appear I, I will be here If in the dark we lose sight of love, Hold my hand, and have no fear Cause I, I will be here I will be here when you feel like being quiet When you need to speak your … Continue reading Eight Years.
Today is International Bereaved Father's Day. It is a day set aside to recognize bereaved men all over the world as the beautiful fathers that they are. More often than not the men are left out or forgotten about when it comes to grief support. This needs to change. This past week has been hard. I know … Continue reading International Bereaved Father’s Day.
Last summer, after we came home from the hospital without our son in our arms, the song The Eye of the Storm by Ryan Stevenson was playing just about non-stop on Christian radio stations. Every time I heard that song, I would break down in tears. Alexander would be fourteen months old today. This morning, … Continue reading Fourteen Months.
As I got ready for bed last night, I was overcome by overwhelming feelings. Deep sadness. Profound gratitude. Unfathomable unknowing. Fear. Frustration. Anger. Love. What in the world? And then, I picked up my phone to set an alarm for this morning and I saw it. It was just after midnight, and it was right … Continue reading Thirteen Months.