Deep Breaths. 

As fall marches on, there are days where life just feels like "normal" in a lot of ways. We have settled into some new rhythms of life, chores and projects are starting to get done a little more consistently around the house, and despite still having very difficult days and weeks, I am able to … Continue reading Deep Breaths. 

Heavy.

Today is a heavy day. Three months ago today, when I woke up, my life was still normal. I remember waking up a little bit nervous and waiting for the doctor's office to open so I could give them a call when they opened. I remember being worried, but assuring myself that everything was probably … Continue reading Heavy.

Exhausted.

Grief is exhausting. It's hard work--really hard work--processing an unimaginable loss and trying to find a new normal. And that doesn't even include trying to live something that resembles a "normal" everyday life--getting up, getting dressed and ready, going to work, grabbing coffee, doing laundry, grocery shopping, and so on. Some days, it literally feels … Continue reading Exhausted.

Sorry Not Sorry.

The past week has been hard. I have cried. A lot. This is the reality of child loss, and of grief, and of trying to find a new normal during a season of life where nothing--nothing--feels normal anymore. Because life isn't how it should be. There is no fixing this. Losing Alexander will not ever be … Continue reading Sorry Not Sorry.

On Living in Act 2: Right Where I Am.

Every once in awhile I want need to just lay the cards out on the table--to say "this is me, right where I am," and to be okay with that. Twelve weeks. It's been twelve weeks since Alexander was born, since we held him, and since we said "hello" and "goodbye." That day, July 9, … Continue reading On Living in Act 2: Right Where I Am.

Lobsters and Growing Into a New Normal.

I've never really thought much about lobsters (besides the fact that I enjoy eating them on occasion). And yet, here I am on my day off researching lobsters, their shells, their lifecycles, and molting. Have I mentioned already how weird my life has become since losing Alexander? Anyways, I digress. Yesterday, I went to Trinity … Continue reading Lobsters and Growing Into a New Normal.

Sand, the Gulf Shore, and Friends.

We just got back from a week of vacation, so of course the first thing out of everyone's mouth when they see us is, "how was your vacation?" It seems natural, and since there are a lot of people we still haven't seen since we lost Alexander, it feels safer than "how was your summer?" or … Continue reading Sand, the Gulf Shore, and Friends.