As I got ready for bed last night, I was overcome by overwhelming feelings. Deep sadness. Profound gratitude. Unfathomable unknowing. Fear. Frustration. Anger. Love. What in the world? And then, I picked up my phone to set an alarm for this morning and I saw it. It was just after midnight, and it was right … Continue reading Thirteen Months.
This day should be so different. Every day should be so different. Today is Alexander's first birthday. Today it has been one year since we last saw and held our sweet boy. One year since we marveled at his long fingers and big feet. One year since we whispered over and over again: "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm … Continue reading Today Alexander Is One.
July 4. Independence Day. It's the day on which we celebrate the great freedom of living in the United States. It's the day we celebrate my in-laws' wedding anniversary and the birthdays of several friends. It's a holiday filled with joyful celebrations, parties, cookouts, and fireworks. And it's the day that will forever remind me of … Continue reading Day 365.
It's hard to believe that it's been eleven months. Three hundred and thirty five days. Eight thousand thirty six hours. Time has stood still. Time has marched on. Time has flown by. It seems unreal that my son should be eleven months old. He should be here in Cleveland with us this weekend for his uncle … Continue reading Eleven Months.
Yesterday, I spent the day on what has become one of my favorite middle school ministry events every year: our annual middle school mystery road trip. Here's how it works: students sign up, not knowing what we will be doing throughout the day or where we will be going. I spend weeks and months planning a … Continue reading That’s My Son.
I have a love-hate relationship with Facebook these days. Actually, if I'm being honest, I've become pretty ambivalent about social media on the whole, mostly due to the fact that I have very little control when scrolling through social media over when I will or will not see something that triggers my grief. So, the … Continue reading June 4.
Alexander, my sweet boy: You, my son, are the one. From the moment I saw those two lines on the pregnancy test, I couldn't wait to meet you. You were so wanted. You were prayed for. You made me a mother. You changed me and you changed my world. I love the memories I have … Continue reading Mother’s Day: A Letter to My Son.