While I, Erin, am the writer of this blog, there are some very important supporting cast members in my life and story. Hopefully knowing a little bit about these people will help give you some context as you read.
Scott is my dear, sweet husband who has been alongside me not just through the heartbreak and grief of the losing our sweet Alexander, but through many mountains and valleys for more than a decade. We met in high school marching band. We started dating on November 3, 2001. We broke up for a year during college while we both “found ourselves,” and then got back together in the summer of 2006. We got engaged on June 14, 2008 and married on September 12, 2009. You can read more about our love story here and here. Mr. Haligowski is the kindest and most compassionate man I know. He is the very best dad in the whole world to our sweet boy Alexander.
Alexander Scott Haligowski is our much loved sweet firstborn son. After four days in the hospital waiting on induction drugs to take effect, he was born by scheduled C-Section into the arms of Jesus at 7:36am on July 9, 2016. He was a healthy and perfect 20 inches long, weighing in at 5 lbs 13 oz. Alexander’s death was the result of two true knots in his umbilical cord. We have never felt so much love and so much heartache as we have since seeing and holding our sweet boy.
Hiro is our sweet “golden boy,” who we adopted from Kentucky as a sweet puppy on December 1, 2011. Hiro lives for hiking and catching a frisbee and loves going to church to hang out with our youth group. Throughout my pregnancy with Alexander, he would snuggle sweetly with my belly, even when he got kicked in the face by his little brother. He’s the most lovable and snuggly pup there is, and has basically served as our therapy dog since losing Alexander.
Other Supporting Cast Members
The Gal Pals. Also known as SC, CN, TH, and NH, these ladies have walked by our sides since long before my pregnancy and the loss of sweet Alexander. They are work friends and church friends, but more than anything, they are friends. They were among the first that we texted after finding out that Alexander’s heart was no longer beating. They were among the first to show up at the hospital. They laughed with us and cried with us during the absolute darkest days of our lives. They brought meals and coordinated a meal train for weeks after we came home from the hospital. You can read more about them here.
SC. (Yes, another SC, different from the one above.) SC and her family live in our neighborhood, and while I’ve known her and her boys for a number of years through the youth ministry at church, it is just in the months since losing Alexander that our friendship has grown into one that is irreplaceable in my life. It all started with a “drive by hugging” in late July and an invitation to go out for a beer on the first night in August that Scott was leaving to go out for a much needed evening with his guys. Through lots of invitation (without expectation), quality time on Tuesday nights, shared Fridays off of work, and a totally spontaneous trip to Chicago, SC has become an important part of our lives and family.
TJ. This lady is another one of our people. She was among the first to know when I was pregnant with Alexander, and would have likely been one of his primary caregivers as both our friend and as the director of the child care center at the church where I serve in ministry. Along with the gal pals, she was among the first to know when we found out Alexander no longer had a heartbeat, and showed up at the hospital during the darkest days of our lives. She sat with me in the hospital so that Scott could go home and get a shower and a real meal with his parents. She and her family are an important part of our tribe.
There are lots of other people that I will refer to and write about on a regular basis. We are blessed with a huge tribe of people who love us and our sweet boy, and our support network has truly been our lifeline throughout our grief journey. Our sweet Alexander is so blessed to be loved by so many people.