Grief is a difficult and lonely process. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. In the days and weeks after losing Alexander, I scoured the internet searching for anything that might even be remotely helpful in understanding what I was feeling and experiencing. What I discovered is a beautiful community that I never wanted to be part of, but that I am so glad exists.
Here is a list of resources that have been helpful to me in my grieving process and that may be helpful to you as well. Some are specific to baby loss, some specific to grief, and others not directly grief-oriented but helpful nonetheless. I will continue to update this list as I discover more resources.
The very first resources I came across were the blogs of other loss moms. I spent days reading blogs from start to finish, reaching out to people I have never met before, and have had the privilege of meeting some of these beautiful ladies in person.
(* indicates mention of living children, rainbow babies, or other triggers)
Other Web Resources
These articles and other non-blog resources have been helpful throughout my grief journey.
- Still Mothers – Living Childless After Loss
- Still Standing
- The Grief Toolbox
- Everything Doesn’t Happen for a Reason By: Timothy J. Lawrence
- Circles of Support By: Nathalie Himmelrich
- Unspoken Grief
- Glow In the Woods
- Babycenter 3rd Trimester Loss Support Group
- On Coming Alive
- Grieve Out Loud
These organizations have been helpful to us in our grief and provide services to those experiencing pregnancy loss, stillbirth, infant loss, and child loss.
- Molly Bears
- The Compassionate Friends
- Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep
- Sufficient Grace Ministries
- First Candle
Resources for Support People
Do you know someone who is grieving the loss of their child? These resources might be helpful to you in caring for your friend or family member in the midst of their loss.
- How to Love Someone Who is Grieving Their Child By: Emily Long
- Stupid Phrases for People in Crisis By: Marilyn Gardner
- Giving Grace to People in Crisis By: Marilyn Gardner
Some of these books were gifted to me in the earliest days after losing Alexander. Some I purchased for myself. Some I have been familiar with for years. Some were hard to pick up. Some I’ve picked up more than once. Some are child loss specific, and some are simply oriented towards grief in general.
- A Grief Observed By: C.S. Lewis
- Empty Cradle, Broken Heart By: Deborah L. Davis
- Grieving the Child I Never Knew: A Devotional By: Kathe Wunneberg
- I Will Carry You By: Angie Smith
- You Are the Mother of All Mothers By: Angela Miller
- You Are Not Alone: Love Letters from Loss Mom to Loss Mom By: Emily R. Long
- From Father to Father: Letters from Loss Dad to Loss Dad By: Emily R. Long
This is a tricky one. Music evokes so much feeling. But it can also bring great healing. Sometimes music can be a little triggery, so tread with care. Some of my most healing moments, though, have been tear-filled moments at concerts or sitting alone in Alexander’s nursery listening to music.
- Olivianna By: JJ Heller
- Where to Begin By: Jenny & Tyler
- Eye of the Storm By: Ryan Stevenson
- Walk With You By: Jenny & Tyler
- With Hope By: Steven Curtis Chapman (prelude at Alexander’s memorial service)
- Tell Your Heart to Beat Again By: Danny Gokey
- Beauty Will Rise By: Steven Curtis Chapman (postlude at Alexander’s memorial service)
- Thy Will By: Hillary Scott
- Mended By: Matthew West
Non-Grief Related Resources
This list is a mix of books, videos and website that are not grief-specific but that have helped me at various points in my journey of grief.
- The Power of Vulnerability – TED Talk by Brene Brown
- Love Warrior By: Glennon Doyle Melton
- The Wisdom of Story – Online course feat. Brene Brown and Glennon Doyle Melton
- Daring Greatly By: Brene Brown