I have thought about him since the moment I woke up this morning.

October 9. Fifteen months since we held him. One year since we held his memorial service. Today is Alexander’s day.

Oh, that sweet boy.

A dear friend reminded me tonight of something I said at some point this year: “I thought I would be raising a baby boy, and instead that baby boy is raising me.” That. Today.

For the most part, today has been relatively normal. I got up this morning and went to work. I dove head first into fundraising kickoff, registration catch-ups, and

I think I am still riding on a bit of a wave from walking in Lydie’s Loop this past Sunday, hosted by Lydie’s mom Heather to raise funds and awareness for stillbirth through The Star Legacy Foundation. It was a beautiful morning to walk, literally, side by side with other grieving parents. Our team, Team Alexander, walked together in Columbus as well as virtually here in Dayton, in Minnesota, and even overseas in the Netherlands. We were able to raise over $600 in Alexander’s memory to support the important work of the Star Legacy Foundation as they provide research and education for medical professionals, as well as support and education for grieving families.

It was incredibly powerful to hear Heather and her husband Justin share her story of losing their daughter Lydie and how they have continued Lydie’s story through their partnership with the Star Legacy Foundation. It was an incredible reminder that we are not alone. It was beautiful to hear Alexander’s name read out loud among the names of other babies being remembered on Saturday. We don’t get to hear his name nearly enough, so every opportunity to hear it is truly music to our ears.

Today, as I think about where we were fifteen months ago and twelve months ago, I am reminded of just how far we have come. I have also been reminded today that this grief is something that I will carry for the rest of my life. Every single day, for as long as I live, I will miss my sweet boy Alexander.

Today, I am missing him just a little bit extra.

Alexander, my sweet boy.

You are loved.

You are loved.

You are loved.

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