Tomorrow morning if you wake up,
And the sun does not appear
I, I will be here
If in the dark we lose sight of love,
Hold my hand, and have no fear
Cause I, I will be here
I will be here when you feel like being quiet
When you need to speak your mind,
I will listen and
I will be here when the laughter turns to cryin’
Through the winning, losing and tryin’
We’ll be together ’cause I will be here

Eight years of marriage looks different than we thought it would.

September 12, 2009. I swear we were just kids. We thought we knew what we were promising when we stood before family and friends and said those words: for better or worse.

We had no clue.

The past year has been the hardest we have ever faced together.

According to this article:

“The death of a child completely shatters you. You’re the same people, but at the same time, you’re really not. Everyone changes throughout the course of a marriage, but it’s rarely so sudden and complete. So you have to get to know each other again in one of the most harrowing circumstances imaginable.”

Marriage looks different after losing a child. There is no question in my mind about that. It’s a reality that we are learning to navigate every single day.

Today we are celebrating eight years of marriage. Sometimes it feels like eight years of surviving life together, and other days it has that same spark and joy that we had on the day of our wedding eight years ago. Every day, it’s hard work. That’s real life.

This year is the second time in eight years of marriage that we aren’t on vacation for our anniversary, so tonight we celebrated with a nice dinner out and a walk around Target. It was a nice, laid back evening. Hard conversations. Good conversations. And lots of talk about how different things should be.

Today, on our eighth wedding anniversary (and every day of my life), I don’t have the words I wish I could say or write. And all the words in the world would never be enough to express the depth of my love for this man: my best friend, my husband, and Alexander’s dad.

Scott, you are the most kind, compassionate, and selfless human being I know. I don’t tell you enough, but I am so proud to be your wife. You make me better, but more than that you make the world better. Oh, and on top of all that, you are the most amazing dad to Alexander. That boy is so proud to call you daddy. This year has been hard, but there is nobody I would rather walk through this life with. You are my favorite human.You are my best friend, and the best dad to our son. I love you with every fiber of my being. And then some. Happy anniversary, my love.

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