We are so grateful for the many special gifts we have received to remember Alexander. Jewelry. Wind chimes. Stained glass. Figurines. I’ve read over and over again that when you lose a child it is important to find ways to honor their memory. To create special places and to surround yourself with memories–not to prevent forgetting, because we will never ever forget–but to build meaning and to have tangible reminders.
Last week, after Alexander’s memorial service, we came home to find a tree that had been purchased in Alexander’s memory by PB and WB (Scott’s first cousins once removed – or something like that). We tried not to ask too many questions about how they managed to bring a 6′ weeping cherry tree in their small four door sedan all the way from Cleveland. (But, really… let’s just process that for a second.) We sat on the front steps and chatted for a while as they explained how best to plant this tree, what kind of care it would need, and how they wanted us to plant it in memory of Alexander.
This week has been a busy one, filled with soccer games and youth service projects and precious time with friends, but Scott and I wanted to make sure we planted this tree together. Scott spent the earlier part of the week digging out a pricker bush that he has resented since we bought our house three and a half years ago, and digging a hole so we could plant Alexander’s tree.
Wednesday night, we sat in the hot tub and talked about how shitty it is that instead of taking care of our three month old son we are doing things like planting a tree in his memory and packaging wristbands with his name on them to send to friends all over the country. Seriously. This is not what our lives are supposed to look like.
Thursday afternoon, I came home from the office after lunch so that we could finish planting Alexander’s tree together. We dug back the dirt, filled in around the tree with fertilized soil, and watered it generously. Then, we placed a stone at the base along with the plaque PB and WB brought with the tree:
Planted in memory of Alexander Scott
July 9, 2016
Rooted in Love, Always in Our Hearts
I like the idea of having a tree. It stands perfectly at the end of the walkway to our firepit. We will walk past it frequently, and it’s a gift we can enjoy for years and years to come.
It reminds me of the book The Giving Tree, about a tree and a boy. A little boy who is very very loved, just like our sweet boy Alexander.