I love Sara Groves. In fact, she might be one of my favorite songwriters of all time. Her honesty and openness in songwriting has always had a way of connecting with the depths of my soul exactly when I needed it most.
And yet, sometimes I forget that.
In the past few days and weeks, I’ve started to become keenly aware of something missing… maybe it’s a lack of passion, or presence, or something else. Whatever it is, it has started to slowly dig away at my core, and though I had felt somewhat content with it for a while, I am not anymore. I can not be content–at least not in this case.
See, it’s one thing to be content with who God has created you to be. To be content with what He has given you. But, deep down, I very truly believe that God calls us daily to a holy discontent. Discontent with the status quo. Discontent with just riding along on the faith of others instead of really digging deep and planting our own roots and tilling our own soil. Discontent with a flatlined faith.
Yesterday, I was feeling particularly empty. I was tired, still kind of worn out from a very busy spring season of youth ministry. I had fallen off my game. And, I left for work in the morning feeling a deep lack of passion.
So, back to Sara Groves.
As I was driving to work, a Sara Groves song came on–a song off of Sara’s 2001 album Past the Wishing. It’s not one of her more “popular” songs, if you can say that about an artist who is hardly on the radar of most people. In fact, I couldn’t even find it on YouTube when I wanted to share it on Facebook later in the day.
The song: “Stir My Heart”
As the song played, the lyrics just seemed to resonate. They struck a chord in my soul and began to stir something within me.
If time were ever to wear you away
If circumstance should blind me
If age should bring a dark night on my soul
If fear and doubt should bind me
Please stir my heart
Take me back to the fire
Bring to me a recollection of joy
Renew my first desire
If pains and trials come to me
And I cannot stand strong
If fools adjust my theories
To believe Your truth is wrong
I swear it will never happen to me
But how can I know
For Peter swore the same to Thee
O, hear the cock crow
I heard those words. I sang along… please stir my heart, take me back to the fire, bring to me a recollection of joy, renew my first desire. The melody was haunting. The song became my prayer.
I cannot linger in a place where I am content with a shallow faith… where I am content with riding along on the faith experiences of my college years. I cannot be content with a lack of passion or presence or fuel for the fire.
Come, Lord Jesus. Stir my heart.